Lessons

Tell a story.

People exchange stories. People remember other people for the stories. Think to yourself and your closest friends and family. You remember them for the experiences you've had together, not (just for) who they are. Through the stories you gather attention to express who you are, what is it that you are talking about, without ever having to go through the background story, or reciting a listicle.

You are on a clock.

Unless you are the evening attraction assume that your audience is riddled with impatience. They want to be on their phone, watching a movie, reading that book they've been neglecting for so long, go back to their project or work. When someone makes the time for you, appreciate every second of it and give back the most you can as fast as you can.

Hook the listener in.

Your story can be well said, but still boring. Know your audience and take your best bet at what will grasp their attention and strengthen the story. Boring stories leave people disappointed and never wanting to listen to you. Start with understanding the point of your story and how to get to it really quickly. Then work backwards with details in a linear arc of beginning and an end, hero overcoming obstacles, and whatever else fits the occasion.

Leave them wanting more.

Once you learn to tell when someone is hooked, leave them wanting more. This is especially useful in negotiations where you are sure of your power. Just as well in courtship and makes up large portion of the flirtation.

Be concrete and avoid platitudes.

This is the best tell how much lived versus book experience someone has and how well they were able to synthesize the two by answering your questions with practical answers. Anyone sounds wise when repeating the wisdom of the old (and there's truth in it). Use the platitude as a hook followed by a specific example from your life and relate it to how it applies to the conversation.

Put people on the defense.

People under pressure tend to stand up for their ideals. Play the devil's advocate to see how they react to someone you personally think is outrages and see where it takes the conversation. Be mindful of play: people can get hurt, so try to keep the damage to the minimum. In reverse situation be ready to be put on defense by others. Know what you stand for, your principles and especially when to have an emotional and when an intellectual response.

People lie.

Everyone lies. To themselves, to you, and to others. Some by intention, and some by laziness, some to help others. Most lie to get what they want, to be interesting, to exaggerate, and to avoid uncomfortable situations. Choose your own lies carefully and be aware of them. When others speak your lies you'll be able to spot them. Learn what others lie about by digging deep, instead of wide. The softer the skills and more trust you are willing to put in and reliance you are looking to have the harder the search and harder should be your questions.

Skills are hard to assess without the skills.

Say your water pump breaks and you know nothing about how it works. When you call in the water pump guy he tells you a story, quotes you an amount and puts you a mercy of trusting him. In this conundrum you are unable to assess whether you should blindly trust this man. Same goes for doctors, taxi drivers, pilots who we rely on with our lives. Don't trust blindly (as people lie) and gain the basic understanding of the solution first - ask and put the people on the defense to win your trust.

Interviews are not one-size fits all.

Some people have hard time interviewing, just as much as they have hard time talking to people. Maybe their work and other people can speak for them better than they can for themselves. Where the output of the work matters more than what they have to say look at the work.