Letter to S

The many takes at breaking up.

I remember all the little moments and sparks from the very first date until now. When we made fun of genre bending korean bands, your perfect expression of silent disco eyes, lips song. Long chats over drinks. Your asks for kisses to save myself which I have always happily obliged to.

You are full of charm, super caring, laughing with me. A great catch I’d dream about if I was open to a long term relationship. I have a feeling the moment you drop your walls you become an absolute blast of a girlfriend.

What I'm looking for hasn't changed. I still want to go out meet new people have my freedom. At the moment I don't see an end to that.

Just like you I'm an overthinker and not saying this would weigh on me, sour me, change me. After saying this i would have hard time sleeping with you.

Let's have a good food drink and dessert as my bd gift to you then skedaddle our ways tonight.

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Hii. I promised an answer when I had one. I don’t like keeping things hanging somewhere in between.

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Hii. You’ve been perfect courteous caring. This is all self-imposed pressure.

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I can feel that I’d want a longterm relationship with you. You called it a good thing but I to me its not.

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If I was looking for longterm relationship I would…

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I have hard time being casually with you. Casual to me is see each other here and there

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Heey. I’m sorry about yesterday. You owe me a punch in the gut and slap over face for being taken on the rollercoaster 🫠

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Let me try being more coherent after I slept on it. You have all the good qualities of someone i would like to see seriously. You are a goddamn great catch full of laughter, charm, care, SPUNK, not to forget pretty 🤩. It got me thinking about how compatible we’d be and saw the two overthinkers, that have to constantly apologize to each other for being just who they are. More so i don’t want serious, it makes me feel anxious, restrained and just not what i want to be to the other person. At no point you have put pressure on me, you have been even yesterday, an amazing person that should get a trophy lol. I feel like i need to also stress out it has 0 to do with sex, that I really truly very much enjoyed. I am heart driven not sex driven person. I just have hard time being casual with you and why I think it comes off as conflicted. I don’t want to be in between these feelings when we see each other 😕

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I’m not good at setting borders around relationships so Im happy to continue chatting see each other go for a movie here and there catch up on life.